Ross Rosenberg's Blog

What Happens When You Break Up With a Narcissist

Co-Dependency Anonymous Was Broken from the Start

A SYNOPSIS OF ROSS ROSENBERG'S BROKEN FROM THE STARTCO-DEPENDENTS ANONYMOUSWho Has Power Over Whom? YouTube Video: tiny.cc/CoDA_Is_Broken Just like other 12-step programs, CoDA’s first step pinpoints the out-of-control addiction or compulsive...

PROJECTION AND NARCISSITIC INJURIES

Projection is a defense mechanism that invisibly and unconsciously protects the narcissist from understanding their true shame-dominated and self-hating selves. Narcissists project their self-hatred, self-judgment, and unexpressed rage over their unmitigated child abuse onto a safer person: the offending and supposedly injuring person. Projection conveniently shifts, places, and diverts all of what the narcissist hates about themselves, which is too painful and unsafe to recollect, onto the person they misperceived as hurting them.

TALKING ABOUT A REVOLUTION

Excerpt from “The Codependency Revolution:Fixing What Was Always Broken (2024)” Ross Rosenberg, M.Ed., LCPC, CADC  The Outside Revolution “…..As my typing fingers translated the circuitous exploratory processes of my mind, I...

We Are All Human Magnets

The earth is one colossal magnet with two opposite poles, like its smaller magnetic cousins. Each pole has opposite magnetic charges: positive and negative. As a result, a metal needle in a compass is highly sensitive to our planet’s magnetic field.

Iatrogenic Trauma: The Consequences of Ineffective Therapy

Iatrogenic trauma is the long-term suffering and distress caused by the poorly executed, mistaken, and/or incompetent treatment of any painful, limiting, or frightening mental health or medical problem. Such trauma is caused by a treatment provider’s unrealistic optimism, unfulfilled assurances of relief or a cure, treatment failure, the worsening of the condition, painful complications, or the creation of unanticipated unrelated conditions

Reverse Gaslighting: The “We Are a Perfect Family” Lie

This was when I created the term “Reverse Gaslighting,” to explain the phenomenon about which we had been talking. Just like traditional gaslighting, there was a focused and selfish effort to manipulate the environment to create a false belief in a reality that was manufactured. In her case, her father—and to some degree, her mother—clearly manipulated her childhood and adolescent perceptions to make her believe what was obviously dysfunctional was healthy. Sandra now understood how and why her parents ignored or whitewashed any negative interactions so that the “perfect family” and “perfect daughter” narrative could stay intact.

Guilt Management: A Path to Better Codependency Recovery

If you find yourself in a relationship with a covert narcissist, it can be extremely difficult to escape. Covert narcissists are masters of manipulation and control, and they will do everything in their power to keep you under their thumb.

The "Of Course" Method: Neutralizing Narcissistic Abuse

One of the most effective techniques for setting boundaries and breaking free from a pathological narcissist is the “Of Course Method.” It may seem like a simple turn of phrase, but “of course” are two small words that hold huge 

Be Aware of Self-Proclaimed Narcissism Experts

The most influential, and perhaps manipulative element of such self-described “gurus” is the exaggerated promise for long-term relief from exquisitely painful narcissistic abuse.  These “successful” content producers purposely hide their lack of problem-specific education, training, experience, all of which would qualify or disqualify them from being a legitimate codependency or narcissistic abuse treatment specialist.  

Induced Conversation is a Narcissist's Most Potent Weapon

Narcissists will use “Induced Conversation" when trying to break down a no-contact initiative or when trying to hoover the codependent/SLD. This is the most effective of all the narcissists manipulative strategies.

"Empath" Is Not the Same as "Codependent"

I have to be honest, I do not like when the term “empath” is used interchangeably with “codependent.” “Empath,” which has its origins in the spiritual and metaphysical world, was never intended to be a replacement term for codependency. An empath is defined as a person with the paranormal ability to intuitively sense and understand the mental or emotional state of another individual...

"Codependency" No More

“Codependency” is an outdated term that connotes weakness and emotional fragility, both of which are far from the truth. The replacement term, “Self-Love Deficit Disorder” or SLDD, takes the stigma and misunderstanding out of codependency and focuses on the core shame that perpetuates it. However, inherent in the term itself is recognizing the core problem of codependency and its solution.

Codependency Anorexia: Are You Starving Yourself From Love?

Codependency Anorexia occurs when a codependent surrenders to their life-long relationship pattern to destructive pathological narcissists. I define codependency as an individual psychopathology that manifests within relationships. The codependent habitually finds themselves in relationships with pathological narcissists, with whom they give the lion’s share of love, respect and care (LRC), while being denied the same. Although they are consistently on the short end of the receiving stick, they stay in the relationship because they are both afraid of being alone and believe that if given enough time, they will be able to change or control the narcissist’s selfishness and entitlement.