Ross Rosenberg's Blog

setting boundaries with narcissists

Setting Boundaries with Narcissists

Boundaries don’t work with narcissists. It is critical to fully understand this simple truth. As you begin to accept this, you can begin the treatment for your codependency (Self-Love Deficit Disorder) and learn to protect yourself.

Am I a narcissist?

A Codependent Cannot Be a Narcissist

Ross is frequently asked the question, "can a person be a codependent and narcissist at the same time." Codependents ask this question because of their distorted sense of self and personal boundaries.

What Happens When You Break Up With a Narcissist

What Happens When You Break Up With a Narcissist

Most narcissists who are facing “the boot” will do almost anything to stall or buy time. They try to regain a foothold on the codependent’s demonstration of power, control and resolve. Any last-ditch efforts or promises to change or stop may be genuine but are impossible and do not elicit permanent results. This is because pathological narcissists lack the psychological resources, ability, and insight to stay focused on what is wrong with themselves

Co-Dependency Anonymous Was Broken from the Start

A SYNOPSIS OF ROSS ROSENBERG'S BROKEN FROM THE STARTCO-DEPENDENTS ANONYMOUSWho Has Power Over Whom? YouTube Video: tiny.cc/CoDA_Is_Broken Just like other 12-step programs, CoDA’s first step pinpoints the out-of-control addiction or compulsive...

TALKING ABOUT A REVOLUTION

TALKING ABOUT A REVOLUTION

Excerpt from “The Codependency Revolution:Fixing What Was Always Broken (2024)” Ross Rosenberg, M.Ed., LCPC, CADC  The Outside Revolution “…..As my typing fingers translated the circuitous exploratory processes of my mind, I...

Reverse Gaslighting: The “We Are a Perfect Family” Lie

Reverse Gaslighting: The “We Are a Perfect Family” Lie

This was when I created the term “Reverse Gaslighting,” to explain the phenomenon about which we had been talking. Just like traditional gaslighting, there was a focused and selfish effort to manipulate the environment to create a false belief in a reality that was manufactured. In her case, her father—and to some degree, her mother—clearly manipulated her childhood and adolescent perceptions to make her believe what was obviously dysfunctional was healthy. Sandra now understood how and why her parents ignored or whitewashed any negative interactions so that the “perfect family” and “perfect daughter” narrative could stay intact.

FIFTEEN WAYS NARCISSISTS SABOTAGE BREAKUPS

When facing the termination of the relationship from their escaping codependent, pathological narcissists react as if their oxygen supply has been blocked. Their "last gasp" attempts to circumvent, reverse, or sabotage the escaping partner's plans to terminate the relationship take many forms. The below strategies instill enough doubt, regret, guilt, and manufactured or gaslit sympathy and empathy to entice their "escapees" to return to their "prison cell" voluntarily. 

Disidentifying With the Gaslit Voices In Your Head

Disidentifying With the Gaslit Voices In Your Head

Gaslighting is the systematically applied mind-control strategy that sociopaths and sociopathic narcissists use to covertly prey upon vulnerable Self-Love Deficient/SLD (codependent) individuals. Once the Gaslighter choose their victim, they carefully identify their insecurities and deficits.
The Crushing Double Bind

The Crushing Double Bind

I define the Crushing Double Bind as a strategic and systematic campaign to render the methodically weakened SLD helpless, by making them feel powerless and trapped. This Catch-22-like strategy teaches SLDs that any attempt to stop or escape their narcissist causes worse harm than staying put.

"Empath" Is Not the Same as "Codependent"

I have to be honest, I do not like when the term “empath” is used interchangeably with “codependent.” “Empath,” which has its origins in the spiritual and metaphysical world, was never intended to be a replacement term for codependency. An empath is defined as a person with the paranormal ability to intuitively sense and understand the mental or emotional state of another individual...

"Codependency" No More

“Codependency” is an outdated term that connotes weakness and emotional fragility, both of which are far from the truth. The replacement term, “Self-Love Deficit Disorder” or SLDD, takes the stigma and misunderstanding out of codependency and focuses on the core shame that perpetuates it. However, inherent in the term itself is recognizing the core problem of codependency and its solution.